It’s no secret that I’ve moved around a lot in my short 26 years on this planet, but whether you move with family, friends or alone (which I’ve done 3 times now), it’s always a challenge to put yourself out there and well, make friends.
As someone who puts themselves out there and makes friends everywhere I go (probably because I could talk to a wall), I get a lot of questions from peers on HOW to make friends when you move to a new place.
Let’s be honest – making adult friends is hard.
Like the type of friends you made in college you could binge watch Making a Murderer to and still love you even if you haven’t showered in a few days…
Those types of friends only come around every once and a while, but I do believe that people come into your life when you need them most, and moving to a new city is definitely one of those times.
As a seasoned friends maker, I’m sharing 5 tips to help you make friends when you move to a new city to help you find your tribe of people you can rely on in your new home!
So, you know the nail salon you went to every month in your old city? or the little market you got your coffee at every Friday? or that bar that served those delicious drinks at brunch? You need to find those new places in your new city and continue to go there. You can’t go somewhere one time and expect to the barista to remember your coffee every time, so you have to keep going there.
Try out a few new places and then stick to the ones you like and keep going there. Chances are you’ll run into people that you see often and start to make friendly conversation that could turn into something more!
Like, overly nice. This one is tough because moving is emotionally and physically draining, but you need to be really nice to people that you are meeting (you don’t want to be known as “the new bitch in town”, just sayin’).
When you’re really friendly people are more likely to open up to you and you start to get to know them. Maybe they have a friend that likes to do yoga like you, or they have a book club you might want to join, but you would never know if you’re closed off.
BTW – you should always be a nice person because you never know the type of day someone else is having… it’s called being a good human.
You know that girl that girl from spin class that keeps inviting you for a drink but you’ve got like 100000 things to do? Stop making excuses (you don’t need to unpack that bad) and go get a drink with her! The more you say no to someone, they’ll eventually stop asking and by the time you’re “ready” to make friends, she’ll have moved on to Suzy that always has her bike at the highest setting (ugh, Suzy that overachiever).
Say yes when someone invites you to something because that’s your door to expanding your network and to eventually have a group of people that want to text you on a Friday night. Let’s face it, there’s nothing worse than watching a Friend’s episode for the millionth time on a Saturday night because you have no friends (we’ve all been there).
This might seem a little strange, but some of my closest girls I met from networking events. There are people of all industries and career paths that go to networking events so you don’t need to be a business owner to go. Networking events are a great way to meet like-minded people and most people go to the events alone, so good for you – you’re not the only one.
Some networking events I love:
Rise Tide Society – They are in TONS of cities all of the world and they’re FREE! They meet on the second Tuesday of every month somewhere in a city near you and there is one topic of discussion. Not only have I made clients from these events, but I’ve met some really awesome people to co-work with.
Dames Collective – I was a part of this group in California, and although they aren’t in a ton of cities, they’re working on it!
Bumble Bizz/BFF – It might seem weird because it’s bumble, but I know a ton of people that have gone to bumble events (not for dating) and have made some really great friends from this. I haven’t personally gone to one yet, but I plan on going sometime soon! The best part of these events that I think would be great is that everyone is in the same boat! They’re all trying to meet new people too.
Facebook Groups – No matter where you live, there is a Facebook group for people just like you. Type in “Facebook groups in BLANK” and something will pop up. You can see events, workshops or other things that are happening in your new city!
You’re not going to make any friends by sitting in your house scrolling through instagram. It’s just not going to happen. If you moved to a new place alone, do things alone! Go to a trendy new restaurant and sit at the bar to speak to the bartender, try the community yoga class at the beach, take a walk around the neighborhood… literally anything!
We’re not 5 years old anymore… Sally from a few houses down isn’t going to come knocking on your door asking you to play barbie (I was Sally). In order to make friends you have to be confident and put yourself out there – your new friends are waiting for you!
Chances are, if you’re trying to make new friends, so is everyone else. We are all human and humans need that connection with others, so when you are putting yourself out there understand that the person you’re speaking to is feeling the same way.
Be confident in yourself and really immerse yourself in your new community! You won’t be disappointed. If you need extra encouragement, send me a DM and I’ll help
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